Who Are You on Facebook?

If you are the administrator of manager of a business/professional page here, there may be occasions when you want to comment as yourself, rather than the page. I often see pages where the author initials or signs their name to "claim" a post or comment, but there's a better way!

Here's a great tip on how to adjust your settings so your posts or comments on the page(s) you admin show up as "yours" when appropriate.

• Go to the page you admin and select to "Use Facebook as >page name here<".
• Then click the "Edit Page" button on the upper right corner.
• In the administrative menu selection in the left hand column, choose "Your settings".
• A box will pop up with check boxes, the first option will be "Always comment and post on your page as (business page name will be here) even when using Facebook as (your name will be here). UN-check this box. This will enable you to comment on the page you admin as yourself when you are not logged in as the administrator of that page!

Giving It Up For Love

Sam Davidson has been noting the things your life, his life, and other’s lives , don’t need in his recent guest blogs and his book “50 Things Your Life Doesn’t Need”. One thing that’s on my list is New Year’s resolutions. I never bought into this resolution idea for some reason. Everyone makes New Year’s resolutions, but they rarely seem to keep them. I think if there’s something out there you think you should “do”, then you don’t need to wait till New Year’s to resolve to do it. As Nike coined, “Just Do It”.

Earlier in the month, I saw Facebook posts about a particular date being slated as “Pay It Forward Day”. I feel the same way about this, paying it forward should be a way of life, not something you are prompted to do because someone told you this was the day to do it.

So maybe instead of a note to self on what you vow to do in 2011, consider the unique idea of discarding what you don’t need.

Here’s a few things on my “Do Not Need” list besides New Year’s resolutions:

1) Work that isn’t fulfilling

2) Useless email subscriptions I signed up for at some point

3) An artist studio that I don’t spend enough time in

4) Buying more bananas than I can eat before they go bad

5) A nice bicycle that I never ride, whose tires are now flat because it’s been sitting so long

And finally, hard to write this one, nicotine. Yep, there it is. I said it. I wonder how many people reading this don’t even know I smoke. I’m a closet smoker. I’m embarrassed that I smoke. I’ve tried to give it up for good enough times already. I’ve had weeks or even months when I didn’t smoke. I ask myself, what does smoking “give” to me and I don’t have to tell you, there’s not a single thing on that particular list. And heck, I can’t afford to smoke anyway, in any way. Not only is it a useless “expense”, it's just not "who" I am anymore. But more importantly, it’s taking time away from the things I need to be doing, like generating kindness. And that is just no longer okay by me.

So, as the month, and year come to a close, I’m going to, for what I hope to be the final time, help myself out, and others, and finally give up this thing on my list. I’m going to remind myself every time I think of buying that next pack of cigs, I’m taking hours and days off my life that I could be giving to someone or a cause I love. I just can’t afford to do that anymore. There’s just too many Habitat houses to build, too many sweet young mouths to feed at “Love & Lunch” at The Oasis Center, too many paintings waiting to be done, and too many people I need to tell that I love them. I have one life. I am doing something.

Building Fences

I remember many years ago when the term “co-dependent” was a very popular buzz word in our society. There were scores of books written about the subject, and many hours spent with our therapists and psychiatrists trying to rid ourselves of this unhealthy behavior. My name isn’t Webster, but my take on co-dependence was to sacrifice of one’s own emotional well-being for another. In other words, to not have any boundaries or “fences” that enabled you to say “This is not okay, therefore, you cannot go there”.

Technology has given fodder in recent years to our boundaries being shaky or non-existent. We tweet and text, post and publish in a manner that’s often disconcerting. With the push of a single button, we can broadcast anything we want to instantaneously. Pretty cool huh? Hhmmm……really? I am often reminded that anything with this much power can be used in a very positive way, or a very destructive way. Historically, this is true as well. Leaders, icons, military, television, all of these “things” have proven to be a double edged sword of power.

Setting solid boundaries for yourself not only tends to shield you from many of life’s unpleasant surprises, it also helps draw the line at what you take on from an emotional and literal standpoint. It encompasses everything from what is broadcast from your mouth & fingers to your professional price tag, how tight you pack your schedule to how low you let your gas tank get.

The very best thing about knowing where your boundaries are is that it’s empowering to be able to communicate them clearly, and in general, you always know where you are. It's about protecting yourself and your relationships both personal and professional.


Here’s a symptom check to see if you need to check your fences:

• Constant lack of time
• Feeling like a doormat for the world
• Magnet for drama
• Communication frustrations
• Susceptible to feeling underpaid, overwhelmed and unappreciated
• Regular agitation with friends or family


There are more symptoms, but these are good places to start to see if you need to get out your hammer and nails or wire cutters and post-hole diggers.

If you’re searching for balance, setting boundaries is a good place to get a foothold on the scale. Remember, people without any boundaries or rubbery ones are likely not going to respect the boundaries of others. And, your boundaries will get bumped into! You're not likely to wear a sign or wrap yourself in barbed wire to advertise "Here's my boundary!!", so you'll have to practice communicating, gently for first time offenders. :)

Are you "Drama Free"?

I can't wait till Sam Davidson's new book comes out entitled "50 Things Your Life Doesn't Need". I'm hoping to get an advanced copy soon, but I happen to know the first thing on the list is "Drama".

Life comes with plenty of drama all by itself, sure. But the trick is keeping it to a dull roar. If you think things are happening TO you, think again. You have a choice here, you either allow things to happen to you, or you don't. Sure, there are the unexpected bumps in the road, but seriously, how much drama do you bring on yourself? Here's a few things that might work if you're sick and tired of daily upheavals in your life:

1) Don't take on other people's stuff! Sure, it's okay to be a shoulder and care, but it's THEIR stuff. Don't own it like it's your own.

2) Set boundaries! My favorite hot topic right now. Be clear about what's okay and not okay for you. If it's not okay, then stay away! If you don't get "boundaries", read the book: http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454

3) Be as clear as possible in your communication. This is hard if you're not used to it. Tell people what you need or don't need. No one I know is a mind reader. If you're not getting what you need, you may only have yourself to blame.

4) Take care of business now. Procrastination is a petri dish for drama. Deal with what's on your plate, and let it go.

5) Gossip and TMI breed drama too. Not only does it make you perhaps a not so great confidant, you are doing nothing but putting junk on your plate.

6) And speaking of your plate.....Keep a "clean spot" on your plate. As a painter, I make it a practice of leaving a spot on my palette that's clean. I may need that spot and working to keep space open, allows for those little surprise moments when I need it. Chefs do this too. A plate with a "clean spot" is much more appetizing than a plate piled high.

Drama is a drag. It's an energy drain. It's simply weight you are carrying that you don't need. Why carry around a 50 lb bag if a 10 lb bag will do just fine? Final thought on this: What are you GETTING from the drama in your life? If you're hanging on to it, or can't seem to release it, you ARE getting something from it. This is just a fact!

I'll let you know when Sam's book is available. Might be the best present you ever bought yourself. http://samdavidson.net/books/

Digging In

It’s just an old shovel, orangey red paint barely clinging to it's neck, and worn smooth wooden handle. As I dropped it into the trunk of my car a few weeks ago, and headed over to the Meridian Street Habitat House, I wondered have many times Pepaw’s shovel had been plunged into the ground. How many gardens had it dug through? How many hollow brown homes had it prepared for new roots and life?

I’ve hauled this shovel all over middle Tennessee. Its first dig with me was at “Windham Farms”, my little house on the corner in Antioch. It was the first tool I went hunting for when I moved to East Nashville. And that steamy morning a few weeks ago, as I ransacked the tool shed to find it, there was this brief moment I worried that it had gotten lost in transition. When I my hands found its familiar feel, I felt relieved that my old friend was still right there, waiting for the next dirty assignment.

I watched as Glen easily nosed the shovel into the ground where we had planned for the landscaping down the walk at the home on Meridian Street. My Grandfather, "Pepaw", would be proud to know that one of my favorite family heirlooms, his shovel, was again digging into the dirt. Particles of soil from the previous furrow of dirt being shared into the new one......just another location that its sharp blade and worn handle were doing their job.

What’s your favorite family heirloom? What memories are tied to it?

Why Blog Why?

As I contemplated starting a blog, I pondered my reason for wanting to blog. Sounds rational to have a reason doesn't it?

Do I "need" to be heard? No.

Do I have anything riveting to say? Maybe I do. I'll let you decide that. It's your computer, and your screen afterall.

What's the difference in blogging and a diary? Good question.

For me, really don't want to spill the dear diary stuff (this is where you say "thank you"!!) But I realized in recent months that through this medium, I can share ideas, thoughts, maybe bits of wisdom that might help somebody else, or simply stir your brain to think about something beyond what time the game starts, what you packed for lunch, or what your calendar looks like tomorrow. My disclaimer is this........these thoughts and words are mine, just random things that keep me up at crazy hours, or stuff I find my fingers typing while sitting in seat H3 flying to or from some adventure.

So, as the late Johnny Fishbone might've summed it up, "Ladies and Gentlemen, shall we blog??!!"